A Year of Fear: 8 Month Review

At the start of this year I made many resolutions. I have kept very few, as is the customary tradition.

My main resolution was, as a reaction to finally getting to go to London, for me to embrace the things I have been waiting for ‘the right time’ to do, mostly out of fear of doing them. I went to a Roller Derby bootcamp (and lost a ton of weight), and planned on joining the team but wasn’t able to because of time and money constraints (and gained said weight back). Instead I am now working with them to make promo videos and player profiles. I resolved to be more social, and I can proudly pronounce that at the ripe age of 22 I have finally gone to my first college party (I am baby), and a few more afterwards. I also took an introduction to pole dancing class, where I learned I am not as strong or graceful as I thought I was, and I was already pegging myself as being pretty mediocre. I began to step outside of my comfort zone at work and travel more to film, and interview various figureheads. I took up a second job which involved (FREE) travel, without worry of if I’d have enough time to do the things I want. I got another piercing. I started running again (but got sick and had to stop). I grew out my hair beyond what I felt comfortable with, and then, I shaved it all off. I applied to be an RA with the company that I interned abroad for. I emailed a music festival that I’ve been to about helping with filming during this year’s events. And, oddly the thing I had the most anxiety about, I began editing my footage from London together.

I plan to start running again. I plan to figure out some opportunities for my year after college, and seek out some opportunities abroad. I plan to make a documentary for my senior thesis, in addition to the other film work I’ll be doing. I plan to travel, by myself, to Washington D.C. to visit Magoo. I plan to apply to a workshop in Germany, which I almost applied for last year but anxiety got the better of me. I plan to seek out more video making opportunities.

I still have a lot of things I want to do before the year ends, and a lot of things I want to work on, but it’s nice to have at least one resolution that I didn’t give up on. 🎬

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