2016: Year of Fear

(As a new year’s resolution, this post is three months late. Which, in some ways, does not bode well, but what can you do?)

Reflecting on 2015 is a bittersweet experience for me. For longer than I’ve known what I want to do with my life, I’ve wanted to go to London, and I worked really hard to be able to do so (balancing work with school, sometimes working two jobs at once). Living and working in London for two months was a dream, one that I hope to live again, even if it would be without the amazing strangers-turned-friends, and  knowing that I’ll never experience exactly what I felt this summer again. Having something you’ve wished for, for so long, come to fruition is gut-wrenchingly wonderful, and I’m so grateful, but my dilemma, dear reader, is — what next?

I’ve essentially planned my life, thus far, around getting to London, even selecting my University for their study abroad programs (to be fair, I also chose MSU because of their political science residential college, which didn’t really pan out for me, but… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   ) And while this is probably one of the best problems to have in your early twenties, it is a problem, for me, none-the-less.

Solution: Fears

There’s a (growing) list of things I’ve always wanted to do, but I’ve hesitated, or I didn’t “have time” (which during a 12-16 hour school and work day is true). Given that it’s three months into the year, I’ve already begun working on the list. In fact, this very blog is one. As a naturally introverted person I have a lot of anxieties around interacting with others, in situations like going to parties, speaking up in class, or telling a store clerk that the fabric steamer on the shelf in kitchen storage that they picked up was actually something I was planning on buying, I just set it down to look at something else, which then resulted in a series of other awkward, easily avoidable events. Such is (my) life.

Anyway, in addition to my attempt at writing and maintaining this blog, I started a new job at the end of 2015 which pushes me outside of my comfort zone, in a  positive way, and in January I began a Roller Derby Boot Camp, never having skated before, with the hopes of someday playing in a bout.

There’s so many more things that I hope to do this year, and hopefully, by the end of it, I’ll know what direction to keep rolling in. 🎬


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